
Not quite sure where to start this story. It has been a very long journey—many lifetimes as far as I can tell. However, my memories of past lives are limited only to region and purpose. But none of that is really important. I do know that from the time I was born into this lifetime I have been searching for the Truth—which, in this dualistic world, appears to be quite elusive and abused.
When I was young I knew that there was something wrong with this world. The wool had been pulled over our eyes. But, why was no one complaining? Why was no one searching for truth as I was? I would ask questions of the church I used to attend that would bring answers that made absolutely no sense to me. I knew that there was something out there to find—well beyond the church and well beyond this realm.
But, finding it was quite a search. Obviously I stopped going to church as the people I met there could not answer my questions and appeared to be quite hypocritical. I searched religions other than Christianity. When in college, I minored in philosophy—learning about as many other religions as I could. The one that I would call closest to the Truth (Gnosis) was Buddhism. But there was still a gap.
After college, I went on to try to live a “normal” life (LOL). But, the seed inside me kept pushing to find answers. I began reading hundreds of books just to get bits and pieces of clues (archaeology, religion, spirituality, new age, aliens—whatever subject would answer my latest question). Then, several major events occurred in my life. I lost someone dearly close to me; I had significant problems at work, and I had major surgery.
These happened all in the middle of my seeking; however, in retrospect, they were all blessings. After my surgery, I had a lot of time off from work—all to myself, to search and read. I remember the exact day that it happened—the most life-changing event of all. A voice was speaking to me from another world. I did not believe it at first and thought maybe I was either dying or going crazy. The voice told me to write down our conversations so that I would realize this was true and really happening. I did, and I was led through the adventure of a lifetime—learning universal secrets, being in direct contact with God and the other side of the veil. It was like glimpsing or being born into an entirely new world yet being stuck between that world and this one. I barely spoke for six months because this entity was answering every question I had ever had and teaching me what I needed to know about the real spiritual truths of things so that I could continue along this path. My questions were either answered directly by voice or out of synchronicity I would be led to something (a book, a movie, a website) where I would inherently find the answer. It was a magical time. Everything was blessed, I could feel the presence of the Christ Energy in my life and being, and every day felt like a vacation. I now understood what it meant to be in this world but not of this world.
I began to interact with others online that I felt were closest to finding the Truth; however, eventually there ended up being no one. Then I began to learn through enlightenment the unknown truth: the closer one comes to God or the Truth, the more one attracts evil in this dualistic world. The onslaught of attacks on this being were unbelievable. My friends said that they had never seen anything like it. Everything in my life was turned upside down. My husband went insane (literally) and blamed it on my spirituality. He has been my bane ever since and is now completely disabled and under my and my friends’ care, although he still causes us a lot of problems.
After so much of this misery, I had become quite dismayed and pretty much hopeless. I could not see the next step on the spiritual journey and was almost starting to wonder if there even was one. Then I was led, as usual, to find an article on sun-gazing and Cosolargy. I eagerly read it, and things immediately became clearer. This explained the solar orientation of all the ancient civilizations like the Egyptians and Mayans! And, it explained the activation of the pineal gland and the path to full enlightenment. I had not felt this much excitement (really, no excitement) in years. I continued searching the internet on this subject and found that there was actually an organization that taught and utilized these methods. The next step was finally clear, and shortly thereafter I joined The International Community of Christ.
Initially, though, this did not deter the attacks. They were so intense that I should have died and probably would have, except that, fortunately, my spiritual Guardians found a way to remove me from the evil circumstances for a while—a temporary assignment in a foreign country for just a few months. And, here I am in Japan. I have been here for three months and am just starting to unwind enough to remember the path that I am on and not having to defend/protect myself at every second of every day. I am hoping that the last few years have been what St. John of the Cross calls the dark night of the soul. But, it matters not, because I know why I am here and, no matter what terrible things come my way, I will continue on this path to Light.